Defending Dick Cheney

    Since naming former Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney as his vice presidential running mate, George W Bush has taken a lot of heat from the Democrats. We believe that looking into the former Congressman’s voting record is a cheap shot and had hoped that the Democrats would have engaged in more civil conduct like restricting their criticism to Cheney’s hair cut and dress. So in an effort to be even handed we will explain his voting record by offering the appropriate reasons behind each vote.

1) Voting against appropriation for Head Start.

    Let’s face it spending money for Head Start in areas like the Bronx is a waste of money because most of them will become crack addicts anyway.  Wouldn’t we be better off teaching them proper prison etiquette, like how to be somebody's bitch, since most of them will end up in jail, anyway.

2) Voting against ban for so called cop killer bullets.

    It’s a lot cheaper to have these cops killed while on duty than paying retirement benefits for years afterwards. While this might appear cold, this is the type of budget consideration all multinational corporations engage in today.

3) Voting against sanctions for South Africa. (1986) Voted against non binding resolution for the release of Nelson Mandella from prison.

    Sanctions never work, they are a waste of time.  White South Africans will never share power with the blacks.  The country will end up in a race war where everybody will kill each other anyway, so why waste money on sanctions.  Nelson Mandella should remain in prison because the recidivism in South Africa is high and if he did get out he would commit another crime, either a robbery or homicide.

4) 1980 - Voted against strengthening ban on discrimination in housing.

    When blacks move into an all white neighborhood it generally lowers property values, and causes a general panic.  In some instances the mere appearance of a black in a white neighborhood for a social engagement caused property values to go down.

5) 1987 Voted against extending the Clean Water Act

    Anyone stupid enough to go swimming in a river, in cities like Philadelphia and Boston deserves to get life threatening bacteria on their bodies.  If they want to go swimming in a clean river they should come to Wyoming.